“He’s too old to listen to records. That’s a young person thing.”
“…In a robot woman’s voice, ‘You have reached the voice mail box of 2-1-0-4-5-5-5-1-3-9. To leave a voice message, press one now, or just stay on the line. To leave a call back number, press five……*BEEP*’ -Keira Knightley’s answering machine.”
“‘Hi, you’ve reached Zac Efron, just leave your name and number and I’ll…HAHAHAHAHHAAHA just kidding, it’s Larry King. Leave me a message and I’ll return your call as soon as I can.’ -Larry King’s answering machine.”
“…In a robot woman’s voice, ‘You have reached the voice mail box of 3-2-3-7-6-6-4-3-0-8. To leave a voice message, press one now, or just stay on the line. To leave a call back number, press five……*BEEP*’ -Frankie Muniz’s answering machine.”
“‘Peter Frampton here. Leave your name and number and I’ll return your call as soon as possible.’ -Peter Frampton’s answering machine.”
“‘How’s it going? You’ve reached Bruce, leave a message after the…*answering machine beeps here*”’ -Bruce Springsteen’s answering machine
“James Cameron is going into outer space? They’re finally taking him off of our planet.”
“Candy coated sunflower seeds? That would send my bowels into a panic.”
“Cool long board. Oh wait, NO IT’S NOT.”
“If Bill Gates doesn’t give me the $20 he owes me, I’ll turn into a rage machine.”
“Windows 7? More like Windows ARMAGEDDON….because…Bruce Willis….you know…yeah…”
“Grandma Fanning is never wrong. She might lose her comb every once in a while, but she’s never wrong.”
“Windows? More like Wind-DUMBS.”
“Microsoft? More like Micro-HARD TO USE.”
“If Bill GAYtes is going to short me $20 after babysitting his insufferable daughter, then he could at least use that money to invest in some better software for Microsoft.”
